Family can be the bedrock in your life, offering safety and security, or it can be bedlam, creating havoc and stress. I’ve known family to deliver in both ways. Looking at each of these conditions in their extremes can be illuminating.
My younger son’s death certainly checked the bedlam box. It was extremely destabilizing and required years of recovery, if a recovery can ever be fully achieved.
Life can get very messy, to put it mildly.
When I think about the way family can deliver as bedrock, something came to mind that stood out in sharp relief. It revolved around a routine created by my former, now deceased father-in-law, my kids’ grandpa.
When my boys’ ages were still in the single digits, he decided to seize the opportunity to take them out for breakfast every Saturday morning. This was pure delight for everyone. I got a parenting break, the kids reveled in eating pancakes and waffles which were better prepared by a restaurant than me, and their grandpa enjoyed some quality time with them.
After a few months, however, my dad decided that he wanted a piece of the grandson action. He thought it would be nice if he could have a grandson on Saturday mornings too. So my father-in-law graciously accommodated him with a new plan. They would trade grandsons each week.
This was just fabulous. The grandpas would come to the house around the same time and pick up their designated grandson and whisk him away to one of the breakfast joints on a regular rotation. It was a routine that held for many years.
Ultimately, the takeaway was that the bedrock grandparents can offer grandchildren is a real gift. I’m glad I didn’t squander it.
