How Did The Transition From 1 to 2 GrandGirls Land?

Now that GrandGirl #2 has been with us for 5 months, I’ve had some time to reflect on her emergence and integration into the pack. It’s striking the way the transition has landed for each of us.

For me, one of the first times I experienced a jolt sparked by her arrival came when my son made an innocuous declaration, just before we ended a phone call.

“We’re taking the kids out for a walk.”

My brain kinda froze. It was a real moment. He had never used the plural form of “kid.” He said this to me 6 weeks after becoming the parent of a second daughter, which created that plural usage opportunity. To hear him say it…wow.

It definitely realigned my perception of him once again. Though GrandGirl #2 was still a baby blob (a term of affection, to be sure) who was mostly eating, sleeping, grunting and pooping, she still could be a participant, and the family walk in her double stroller was her inroad.

Something about two…two little people who need him, two little people who will put him on a pedestal (for a while), two people who will vie for his attention. It had a real ripple effect on my perception of my son and his family. He is now in ultra high demand.

I’m also feeling some differences between my reactions to GrandGirl #2’s development, compared to what I’m experiencing with her sister. With GrandGirl #1, she felt like such a novelty and spectacle, an infinite source of curiosity and thrill!

She’s holding her head up! She’s sitting up! She’s smiling! She’s trying to crawl! She’s starting to walk! Each sign of growth and progress was enchanting!

With this second baby arriving so close to the first, the milestones aren’t registering with the same bang. GrandGirl #2 is equally as special and precious, but she isn’t receiving the same fanfare and marvel that we directed at GrandGirl #1. And there’s nothing essentially wrong with that.

However, she’s already starting to carve out new territory, and she’s showing us how she’s unique. The contrasts between the two girls, along with the similarities, will always provide endless fascination.

With GrandGirl #2, I’m appreciating how even more multi-dimensional my son and daughter-in-law’s worlds have become. I can feel what they’re shouldering. I know the strain but also the delight. I know how thinly they’re stretched. I know how much is swirling in their heads…the finances, the baby schedules and how that impacts their ability to sleep or not, step out or not, and the way so many of their choices will impact others.

When the demands increase, the freedom diminishes.

It's a lot.

However, I also relish how all of this is revealing essential truths, particularly to my son…it’s discreetly informing him of all the things that I did for him when HE was a baby! He could never know any of this until he lived it himself.

Continuing with this theme, I once told him that when babies becomes toddlers, you’re basically saving their lives every day because they invite so many hazards into their daily activities.

He basically delivered this lesson right back to me when he issued some stern warnings surrounding the mere act of accompanying GrandGirl #1 in the front yard.

“Don’t let her touch the spot where there’s an ant hill.”

“Watch what she picks up because she’ll put it in her mouth.”

“She can take off so don’t let her get too far away from you.”

“She isn’t entirely competent with walking so hold her hand on the asphalt driveway.”

“You need to carry her up and down the front steps because she can’t handle that yet.”

I enjoyed hearing all of these directives because they reinforced how much time and attention a child requires.

He gets it. And I get that he gets it. And that’s incredibly satisfying.