What Can a 13-Month-Old Offer That’s Hard to Find?

One morning during a visit with the GrandGirls, a text message arrived on my phone, heralded by one of my dance-beat driven ring tones, in this case, a remix of Lady Gaga’s “Abracadabra,” without lyrics. GrandGirl #1’s head snapped toward the direction of my phone across the room, then she swiftly toddled toward it.

She held my phone in her hand, and when the 20-second ring tone was over, she gave it back to me which I understood as her way of communicating that she wanted to hear it again.

I must admit, I think I have fantastic ring tones. Lots of popular music with great beats that I love to hear whenever the texts arrive. I have at least a dozen, and the collection is always growing. And here, in GrandGirl #1, I seemed to have a fellow fan!

I played her another tone and she clearly enjoyed it – she bounced at her knees which is her signature dance move. She was vibing!!! All it took was Teddy Swims “Bad Dreams.” Then we clicked down the list…Dance Monkey, Midnight Sky, The Motto, What Is Love, How Long, Blue Monday.

I quickly realized that these 20-second clips did not deliver well enough on the demand to have a beat pulse through her. It was time to tap into my music library which is an even richer source of electronic dance music and remixes. “Beautiful People,” a David Guetta remix, “Lights, Camera, Action,” a Kylie Minogue remix, “Man In Finance” remix by Leo Noir…to name a few. She loved them!!!

The truth is, nearly nobody in my life cares for my music. I have a long history of suffering people’s dislike for and dismissal of my taste, and I’ve simply grown accustomed to this reality.

But #1’s reaction?? I felt a wave of approval! For a change, I was not being judged harshly!!

This made me realize how she’s offering that rare, precious condition of acceptance. While our taste may only be temporarily overlapping  – but still, yay! – it also signaled that I ‘m able to share something with her that really has no other landing place in my immediate circle. Very few other people get as excited as I do over, say, a 120 bpm Taylor Swift remix.

When I zoom out and consider a macro perspective on the situation, I sense one of the beautiful and comforting things a small child can provide (before peer groups appear, hormones kick in and the cell phone universe consumes her attention): she accepts me just as I am.

I guess I’m struck by how authentic and honest an 11- or 12- or 13-month old little person can be and how she can unexpectedly connect with me.  They say music is a universal language too. It certainly seems to be speaking to both of us.