What Do Basic Survival Instincts Look Like In A Baby?

I was sitting on the floor in the living room one afternoon, playing with GrandGirl #1 who was 11 months old at the time. Suddenly, we were interrupted.

Into the house entered another family member. #1 stopped playing and quickly caught sight of him since nothing escapes her notice. He set his coat down on a railing, then approached her with his arms raised overhead while stomping across the floor in a goofy, playful manner.

She froze and stared in astonishment. She wasn’t having it. She didn’t shed a tear, which would have told me right away that she was upset. What she did instead struck me as quite remarkable.

She slowly and quietly turned her back to him, then lay down on the floor right next to me with her face hidden next to my leg. I rubbed her back to reassure her that, well, I had her back, and she was safe, not that there was any real threat, just a perceived one.

She lifted her head to see if he was still approaching, which he was, on his way to the coach. She buried her head again and lay still.

Fascinating!!! What a fabulous idea! What a superb way to protect herself from potential danger!

This definitely was not learned behavior. She has no threats in her home. But she probably does have occasional situations that scare her. She is still a tiny person and everyone and everything else is large by comparison, from her perspective.

So her astonishment led to my astonishment that she had this basic human instinct to protect herself. She hid her more vulnerable parts and kept quiet.

I can’t help but wonder what goes through a baby’s brain. How do they process everything around them when they are essentially blank slates? How do they manage to distinguish what is trustworthy? What triggers fear?

The situation in the living room soon resolved itself once the family member was seated on the couch a bit of a distance from her and smiled. Then she returned to playing and being happy.

This situation can boil down to something very basic and human: language and the absence of it. Without a way to express herself or to understand everyone else expressing themselves, what is left?

Body language, sounds and expressions.

Regarding the latter, I tend to believe that the most universally and quickly communicated and understood expression is a smile. I think babies get it, too. They have no idea what you are saying, but I believe a smile conveys safety and security. It might even enable attachment. AND it can be reciprocated.

So maybe, to close emotional and psychic distances, to be less fierce and more friendly and forward, we all should just smile more. Babies certainly get it.