What Makes New Moms Nervous?
Here’s where he takes it to the next level…he points out all the dads’ bad behavior in the animal world too!
I happened to be in a bookstore, checking out the kids’ section, and a title caught my eye: “There Are Moms Way Worse Than You…Irrefutable Proof That You Are Indeed a Fantastic Parent” by Glenn Boozan. Published in 2022.
Well. That captured my attention.
How was the author treating this fertile subject matter? And why are moms so prone to thinking they are not doing a good job? And how can that be prevented?
The only question I could answer is the first one and I must admit, the author nailed the topic. What he pursued was a comparative study…he juxtaposes you, a conceivably hard-working mother who is trying her best to raise her offspring, with some moms in the animal world who are…NOT nurturing, careful or considerate. They are neglectful, hurtful and absent.
Ah! Rich territory! One way to feel better about yourself is to consider the failings and flaws belonging to others!
So here we go…the author begins by pointing out the underlying source of tension:
“You read the books,
you did the work,
you baby-proofed
your stuff.
But even so,
a nagging thought:
What if it’s
not enough?”
A new mom’s mind tends to spin out:
“What if they get tetanus,
or I don’t dress them right?
Or what if when I strap them in,
the Baby Bjorn’s too tight??”
The new mom spends quite a bit of time “what if”ing. But the author totally feels her.
“Whoa, okay, calm down.
Take a deep breath, big exhale.
It’s absolutely normal,
Feeling like you’re doomed to fail.”
Then he launches into all the bad moms, as defined by our human standards. For example:
“A mom giraffe is pretty nice
until the fetus drops:
She’ll birth a newborn baby calf,
then kick him ‘til he walks.”
Another example of a jaw dropping parental approach:
“For dinnertime, a koala mom
will feed her kids her poop.
Remember that when you feel bad
that you’re giving yours fast food.”
And one more irresistible example of a super bad mom:
“At least you’re not a cuckoo mom,
Whoo boy, that bitch is brazen.
She hides her eggs in other nests so she
Won’t have to raise them.”
Point taken. But here’s where he takes it to the next level…he points out all the dads’ bad behavior in the animal world too! For example:
“The poison dart frog dad
is less a ‘hit’ and more a ‘miss.’
To keep his eggs from drying out,
he’ll sometimes use his piss.”
Ok! The book certainly accomplishes its mission, to reassure moms that they are definitely not the worst! And it’s quite entertaining to learn all the ways that this is true by comparison.
As Sarah Silverman concludes in a blurb on the book’s back cover:
“This book is clever and funny and silly, but also truly needed.
Buy this book for the moms in your life, so they know that they’ve succeeded.”
