What’s With All the Rules and Will They Last?

It was a real moment one morning in my daughter-in-law’s living room. She put GrandGirl #2 (3 months old) on a little toy couch to take a nap. Then she PUT A BLANKET ON HER!!!

The new modern-day baby rules unequivocally say, NO BLANKETS IN THE CRIB, IN THE PACK-AND-PLAY, IN THE BASSINET, NO WHERE! NO BLANKETS, PERIOD!

Yeesh.

That was quite a lesson I learned with GrandGirl #1. Of course, I thought it was crazy. I rolled my eyes and picked my jaw up off the floor after I heard about this. How is it possible that the blanket was now a hazard after babies have spent decades cozy and warm under soft, snuggly blankets??

Did one child have a problem and that spoiled it for all the others? Is this similar to the situation whereby the one guy with an explosive device in his shoe when flying on an airplane led to the no-shoes-worn-through-security-check-points rule? But wait, now shoes can stay on!

I couldn’t help but exclaim, “I thought blankets are banned!!”

She took a beat, then looked directly at me and with a deadpan expression, said: “This is the second child.”

Point taken! And well received! In fact, I rejoiced inside!!!

The second child naturally is handled very differently when compared to the first. We’ve all been there if we’ve had more than one child. I can only imagine what a third child must experience. There’s simply no way to maintain the level of intensity and attentiveness that a first child engenders. There’s just not enough time and energy. Plus, you learn how unnecessary some of those approaches were.

But then the situation got heightened even further.

GrandGirl #2 was on the floor propped up by a “c” shaped pillow, watching all the action between GrandGirl #1 and me. GrandGirl #1, who was 14 months at the time) was wandering around, then decided to pounce on her sister in what was a likely meant to be a delivery of some affection, in a not-so-graceful manner.

GrandGirl #2’s eyes popped out, then she burst into tears! It was a kinda aggressive move, it stunned GrandGirl #2.

I beckoned my daughter-in-law right away, mostly to remove myself from responsibility. I didn’t do anything wrong! I was watching both girls carefully, monitoring every single thing! But I couldn’t intervene when something unanticipated happened in just a fraction of a second!

To contextualize this situation further: I am, I will admit, a recent product of the emotional environment surrounding GrandGirl #1 which was highly protective and vigilant, as would be expected. And that was a short time ago, since the girls are only 11 months apart. I’m sensitive to all rules - and there were many - because I don’t want to flunk being Nana!!

So my daughter-in-law quickly came from the kitchen, scooped up GrandGirl #2 and soothed her without any drama or concern for damage. Honestly, if something like this happened a year ago when GrandGirl #1 was 3 months old, it could have mandated a trip to Urgent Care.

I’m relieved that those days are over and we’re in a much more confident and secure space with the parenting. The grandparenting skills are coming along too…aided mostly by following the cues I’m being given.